i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
