So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
