even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
He had one of those small greek statue penises
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
