I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
this hospital has no fireball
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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