Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize