i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
