Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now

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(845): View more from New York

Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.

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(281): View more from Texas

Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.

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(602): View more from Arizona

I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!

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(312): View more from Illinois

stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard

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(217): View more from Illinois

I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.

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