peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
