how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
