so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
