I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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