why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's shark week go big or go home
i believe in u and ur pee
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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