20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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