Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize