I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Shame is for Republicans.
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