I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
