I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
