If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
