I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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