I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
