Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Welp...herpes.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i came on her dog
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
