Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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