Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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