Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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