think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
