Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
