no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
