Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
