We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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