chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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