Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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