do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
