ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
