You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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