He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
