I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
