After last night, I could never be a politician.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
