i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
