I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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