If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
