honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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