Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.

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(310): View more from California

If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.

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(909): View more from California

ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination

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(207): View more from Maine

at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally

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(630): View more from Illinois

He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.

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(716): View more from New York

I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.

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(661): View more from California

God gave him joint rollers for hands

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....

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(858): View more from California

My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.

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