I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So much Jack, so little girl.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
