I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
