Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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