I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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