Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
