Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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