mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
