Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize