I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize