You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
