We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
