It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
