"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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