It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
What drink are we having for lunch?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize