alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize
