I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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