i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize