physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
