The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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