Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
