My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
